


Turbulence

by Marissa Angell (BlueDiamondStar)



Category: CSI:Miami
Genre: Episode Related, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One-Shot, songfic-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDiamondStar/pseuds/Marissa%20Angell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was too hard for him to get over. This time it struck him more harder than he ever could imagine. Of course it shouldn't happened at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turbulence

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net

He silently sat in Locker room alone. It was good that there weren't anyone else. He wouldn't get over it. His mind was so fuzzy that even a simple thought couldn't held it's pace. He felt so horrible and hurt. The pain was already too much to bear, but there wasn't any much left to ease it.  
It was just too hard not to feel pain.  
How in the hell this day managed to change so ugly? Why there was nothing to do, nothing to change?  
He had no idea whether his shift was over or not but he didn't care anymore. He was sitting in the darkest and farest place in the whole Locker room and this has been his hiding place for a good amount of time already. Since the incident with the nail to be exact. He accidentally found this long forgotten corner, partially closed from rest of the room, far behind lockers. Practically it was a part of a wall but obviously someone forgot about this almost-walk-but-still-room-like tiny place. So he used this place as his hideout till things got better and he could come out. But only today he felt like staying there forever. The ache in his chest started to make it difficult to breathe and also burned his eyes.  
"Aw crap. Don't even start..." he thought to himself, trying to stop tears before they break free. He definately didn't want to start crying. But frankly he felt he didn't care either. He was going to stay until...  
How long, really? Until what? H Bones to find him? Or Nat, or Walter, or someone else? Oh, no they won't find him. Not even if he dies here. Does he really had anything else to do? Not really.  
He curled up more tightly, embracing his legs and burying his head between knees. His head hurt probably from all the events and maybe from the fall. Even though he was told that he shouldn't feel anything he was sure that this gas made him feel lightheaded and ached his head and not the fact he hadn't got his sleep or food.  
He had no idea how much time he had spent there but it didn't change the fact he felt like shit. And if that could be possible- even worse.  
He was wrapped up in his thoughts so deep that didn't noticed how he slid down the side wall, so now he was lying on the floor, still curled up. Slowly he sunk deeper and deeper into the memory jane completely unaware that he'd already lost the grip of the reality.

**_I've woken now to find myself_ **   
**_In the shadows of all that I have created_ **   
**_I'm longing to be lost in you_ **   
**_(Away from this place I have made)_ **   
**_Won't you take me away from me_ **

_**Lost in a dying world I reach for something more** _   
_**I have grown so weary of this lie I live** _

_**I've woken now to find myself** _   
_**In the shadows of all that I have created** _   
_**I'm longing to be lost in you** _   
_**I, I've woken now to find myself** _

_**I've been lost in shadows of my own** _   
_**I'm longing to be lost in you, away from me, from me** _   
_**From me, from me, from me** _   
_**From me, from me, from me** _

She sat completely still in the Layout room, lost in her thoughts and tons of happy memories. Gosh, she was so happy that just year ago he joined the team. It was unbelievable that something like this could've happened. Just year after she joined the team, after being transferred from LA, the same lab he was. They've been working together for good three years when some event led her to Miami, and suddenly year later he joined the same team she did. But now just year later he was taken away from her again, and forever. Even though she knew someday it can happen anyways. But still...  
Any other but not in this ridiculous way. A bullet, possibly. Car crash, might happen. Falling out of window, shit happens, who knows. But not like this. How that actually happened in the first place? Everyone else woke up except for him.  
"Dammit!" she whispered under her breath. She was clutching her fist so tightly it started to draw alone where her nails dug deep into her skin. But she didn't care, she didn't feel the pain. Nothing hurt more than her heart. She felt so broken that there was no place for anything else left.  
She stared out of window wondering over the many basketball games or evening runs during last year. She gazed at the setting sun suddenly feeling the urge to run away, somewhere very far... Maybe to the beach.

_**On my last night on earth, I won't look to the sky** _   
_**Just breathe in the air and blink in the light** _   
_**On my last night on earth, I'll pay a high price** _   
_**To have no regrets and be done with my life** _

She hadn't noticed tears already flowing down her face and smoking on the table above which she held her head. Suddenly she couldn't hold it anymore and she sobbed loudly not being able to do it silent way.

_**From the hard time living to the sleepless nights** _   
_**And the black and blue body from the weekend fights** _   
_**He'd say** _

_**L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.** _   
_**You've got more than money and sense, my friend** _   
_**You've got heart and you go in your own way** _   
_**L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.** _   
_**What you don't have now will come back again** _   
_**You've got heart and you go in your own way** _

Elissa silently walked through hallways deep in her thoughts. Suddenly she stopped and looked up noticing the lonely girl in Layout room. Of course she recognized the girl. It was Michelle. Friend of the guy who died just today. And her friend too. The realisation made her pause the thought trail. She took a deep breath and shifted, unsure what she needed to do. Suddenly she caught a movement behind. It was just Natalia. She was coming back from the meeting with the team, but why? They should be home already. Or at least she thought that. Caught up in her curiousity she followed Natalia in Break room, decided the good cup of coffee wouldn't hurt.  
"Hey Natalia." she tried not to be too loud, but it was quite hard to detect how loud she was actually with her troubled hearing. Some years ago lab exploded right next to her. Now she was left with troubled hearing and bad left arm.  
"Hey, girl. Thought you'd be home alreay."  
"Ah well had some more stuff to finish. But only now realised everybody gone already."  
"Well... We left while ago but I came back to..." her voice trailed. "Just had to finish something." she finished obviously barely hanging on.

"Oh I'm sorry. I just still can't believe he's gone, just like that." Elissa simply said trying not to make Nat cry.  
"Oh it's ok. I know that's weird and we'll need lot of time to get over this but I believe time still heals and we'll be fine though." she said soothingly.  
It was true and that she's gonna stick to. "Yeah I guess so. But I'm not so sure 'bout all of us."  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"Um.. Not sure though. I mean Michelle. She just sits there crying... And I saw Ryan... He looked kinda... lost... "  
"Uh.. Well Ryan didn't look good to me either. We played basketball to honour Jesse and shared drinks. After that I don't know, he kinda disappeared."  
"Well he's not here either. Though his car is still here."  
"Maybe he just walked home?"  
"Maybe, maybe." Elissa muttered.  
Suddenly the door opened pushing girls out of their thoughts. It was Michelle who came in. The weirdest about her was that she seemed completely oblivious to the world around. Like a robot she went straight to the coffee machine and poured herself huge mug of fresh coffee.  
And without further ado she left the room leaving both girls stunned and wide-eyed.

  
*******

Michelle took a sip of coffee slowly, relaxing. Some tears still managed to slid down her cheeks but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the peace she was going to find and with that thought she sunk into the world of music provided by her "screaming" pink iPod, and the fantastic brand of coffee she kept hidden and secretly replaced the mud-like stash lab provided previously. It was her secret... But not only hers. There were only two other people apart the rest of lab. Ryan and Jesse... Elissa would be another one if she'd drink coffee but she was all and all "tea girl".  
She entered the Locker room and put her mug on the bench. Looking around she noticed slightly opened locker door. She walked to that and noticed it was indeed Ryan's. "Weird." she thought poking her head inside it. There were very neatly organised things. Immediately she rummaged through the contents finding few bottles of medication. "Interesting" she thought taking one of bottles. She looked at the label. "What are you doing with those pills?" she wondered recognizing the name. She used to take these pills while ago after the incident. She picked up other bottle. The name was also familiar to her. "Hmm, interesting. Who'd think little Wolfey has a problem here?"  
She smirked putting the bottles back into locker leaving the door same way it was.

But little did she know about the little surprise in her own locker. Pushing oper the door of her locker she was stricked by the the huge pile of clothes flying out of the tiny space right into her face. "Crap!" she yelped in anger and frustration when the mass made her to fall backwards landing on her butt. When the shock subsided she pulled herself up from the floor. "What the hell?" she inspected the pile closer. Obviously someone made some practical joke shit on her since the clothes looked stolen from janitor closet. "What the fuck?" she growled pushing the mess away from her. Now there was more mess in her locker. She sat down and took another sip.  
Suddenly the music stopped. "Damn! What now?" she looked at her pink friend. "Shit!" the battery was dead.

"Oh you stupid bugger! Forget to charge the thing? Come on."  
With a sigh she rummaged through her bag in hope to find her other hope. Luckily she found it. She definately didn't want to spend a moment listening into the squealing made by her stupid ear. "Bravo girl. You're officially the master of disaster." Michelle said to herself checking out the battery status of her iPhone hoping it's charged enough. "At least one thing is working here" girl smiled switching the music on and leaving it on speakers. Now she could relax completely she thought letting herself consume into music and coffee.

_**L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.** _   
_**You've got more than money and sense, my friend** _   
_**You've got heart and you go in your own way** _   
_**L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.** _   
_**What you don't have now will come back again** _   
_**You've got heart and you go in your own way** _

For a while she was completely into her own world. But then some weird feeling pulled her out. This tingling made her curious and frightened at same time. Last time when she felt like that there was explosion in the lab. Maybe even before gas release only not less noticeable. "Oh no, not again" she muttered looking around as if waiting for someone jump out of the locker.  
But nothing happened except for far buzzing sound. She kept looking around trying to detect the source. Seemed someone forgot their phone somewhere. But the sound came from different direction. Like from the back of the row of lockers. She carefully slid behind them and then she saw the cropped out part of wall which was not completely cut-off off the wall. It looked like door. Mich cautiously pushed it frontwards revealing chamber-like space. The part of the renovated room. Seemed like someone started to build the promised napping room but stopped leaving half-made room covered from view. And then she saw something. Or someone...  
"Oh my god! Ryan?"

Stunned she froze for a second but then she crouched to take a closer look. He wasn't responding to her shaking. "Ryan!" Mich called out his name again this time louder. But nothing happened.  
Suddenly something else caught her attention. His breathing didn't sound good. It made her suspicious.  
Why he was sounding like an old asthmatic man? A sudden thought hit her so she gently patted his pockets. "Whoa!" her hand had found an inhalator. For another second she inspected it reading all what was written on it. But while she did that breathing became more difficult for Ryan. Luckily Michelle managed to snap out of her thoughts just in time to use the inhalator before he stops breathing at all.  
After a while he finally returned to the world.  
"Hey kiddo, don't do this again on me." she whispered to noone in particular.  
"Mich..." a weak voice woke her up finally.  
"Hey look who's decided to finally move his butt off this pretty dirty place" she said cheerfully.  
"Oh always the snarky one."  
"At least I'm not the "pint-size" who decided to nap inside the wall."  
"Still too snarky."  
"Who'd say."  
"You got me." he smirked.  
But then started to cough.  
"Sounds bad. How are you feeling?" she became all serious again.  
"Like shit. But it's my usual. So probably bit worse than that."  
"Oh. And why so?"  
"Don't push the matter. You don't want to know what I could do to you." he said sheepishly.

"Come on Ryan, you just nearly coughed up you lungs, don't start to throw me away."  
"Sorry. I'm not used to be cared of." he sighed causing another coughing fit.  
"Ryan I know you're not telling me the whole story." she looked deep in his gorgeous hazel depths. "Sorry kiddo, your locker was open and I peeked in."  
"Oh geez, what a sneaker. Can't you just mind your own buisness?" he glared at her with a deadly stare. Frankly it didn't bother him. He felt releved that there was someone who cared about him. At least someone who had the guts enough to push him.  
"Indeed I couldn't. You know me." she grinned. "By the way didn't you see someone stuffing my locker full of janitor's clothes at any chance?"  
"Ugh." Ryan looked sideways avoiding her stare.  
"So?"  
"What? It wasn't me. Ok it was but it was..." he suddenly stopped "Jesse's idea. Sorry." he smiled apologetically.  
"Aww I didn't... meant..."  
"It's ok. I know. I miss him too. But we must move on. By the way, how you feel? That gas thing was pretty tough."  
"Uh. Not mentioning I nearly flew down the stairs. But I guess I'm just lucky considering..." she stopped again. "Fairly fine. Physically as fine as I can be with my aches."  
"Yeah consider yourself lucky. I have only this miserable shell."  
"Sorry. But really what's up with you? I mean you almost... died..."

"Ah well, long and painful story. But I can make that short."  
"Well I'd love to hear about you more. You are very mysterious man, Ryan Wolfe." Michelle grinned wildly.  
"Gee you can be pushing. Ok yeah I've never told anyone I have asthma, I'm allergic. And yes I'm in lot of pain sometimes. And I had some rough moments in my life I was close to put it to end, but I was saved just in time. About my OCD probably knows whole lab. And don't worry I won't try to end my life now."  
"I think we all have something to hide and we have a reason for that. I do to. I made the lab explode. Accidentally of course. Only Jesse knows... knew about that." "Oh so you guys were the nasty ones?" he chuckled at the image.  
"Well yeah you can say that." she laughed at the memory.  
"Ahh happy days of our lives. I had couple of them too. Especially since you came on board."  
"Oh I can imagine that joy." she couldn't stop the laugh.  
"Yeah." he sighed and slowly pushed himself up from the floor slightly wobbly so Michelle helped him up.  
"So what's the plan of the day?" he asked walking out of the wall.  
"I think I might take you to the best place I know where we can find our peace and happiness. But if you have some better idea..."  
"Nah, I think you have point. Sounds like plan to me." Ryan smiled finally.  
"I count that as agreement to the therapy." Mich chuckled almost blushing.  
"You bet, sunshine."  
They packed their stuff and left the building hand in hand.  
And with the last rays of sunlight they drove away.

_**I've found a world,** _   
_**where love, and dreams, and darkness all collide.** _   
_**Maybe this time,** _   
_**we can leave our broken world behind.** _

_**We'll be together again.** _   
_**All just a dream in the end.** _

**The End...**

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me about title, it just came w/ the idea of this story and my plot bunnies dragged it all way down.  
> I'm kinda not really sure about ending but hope those who'll read (if someone will read this) find this appropriate.


End file.
